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A stand off
Between who I am and who I want myself to be
Working hard to carve out a sense of identity
I am both a block of ice and sculptor
Of course, there is pain in taking a chisel to one’s own chest
Deciding what parts can stay and which must go
Seems odd, spending so much time carving something so precious
All while knowing that in the end, we all melt away
I have grown weary and anxious
Choosing myself is a task I aggressively procrastinate
I keep begging tomorrow to do it for me, just for the time being.
Until I regain my strength, ‘til the boy calls me back, ‘til it is warmer outside, ‘til I feel pretty enough.
There seems to always be something that keeps contentment just out of my reach.
I took a different route to work today.
You emerged so unexpectedly, it was almost offensive.
I bit down on a savage tongue thrashing with the desire to call out your name.
I worked hard to heal from you, my heart still beats with a slight tremor.
I must say it hurt me, to see you standing there, unscathed…
Effortlessly going about your day.
IG: @nirvona.soraya.galo