Mindful Menstruating: Tapping into Rage and Sensitivity on Your Period

Written By Halley Sherwood

Listen to the audio version of the piece below.

Over the last two years, I’ve been trying to repair the relationship I have with my period.

I, like probably most girls, grew up hating everything about my period. When I got my first period, I was living with my dad, and especially being the oldest daughter, it was just something we didn’t talk about. I remember calling my mom from the bathroom, asking her what to do. I was eleven. Only one of my other friends had already started their period.

I hated the blood, got horrible cramps, and felt terribly out of control of my mood and reactions. ‘Womanhood’ felt dirty and shameful. Not to mention that, as a girl, once you start getting periods, any bout of sadness or anger is met with the question, “are you about to start your period?”

My cramps were so debilitating that I would be bed ridden for hours, using all combinations of medications and heating pads to try and make them go away. I ended up getting on birth control when I was 16. The doctor said it would help my cramps, but it didn’t.

I finally got off birth control back in 2021, after doing a deep dive into the negative side effects and natural ways to regulate your hormones. Since then, I’ve started really trying to work in harmony with my cycle. I’ve switched to seeing them as something to support, something I can move through with ease if I listen to my body.

Here’s what I’ve learned: 

• Tracking your period is important. It’s great to be able to look at a calendar and know where you’re at in your cycle, whether you’re ovulating or about to start your period. I know a few wise women that plan their lives around their cycle. They’ll do different kinds of workouts in different weeks, cook differently, schedule important meetings around days that they are apt to be most energetic and focused. (I’m not quite there yet, but working towards it)

• Cutting out sugar is the only thing that has gotten rid of my cramps. The moment I feel in my lower back that I’ve started ovulating, I stop eating refined sugars, and don’t eat or drink them until my period is over. This was a huge revelation for me since we grow up hearing that menstruating girls need copious amounts of ice cream and chocolate, when in reality that’s the very thing bringing on additional discomfort. I read that our bodies’ craving for sweets while PMSing has more to do with an increased need for magnesium, calcium, and fat (things often found in sweets) than it is for sugar. The cravings also come because of the serotonin drop and insulin resistance we experience. Our brain reaches for feel-good comfort foods that will bring our blood-sugar up quickly. I’ve started trying to focus on what foods would ACTUALLY make my body feel better, as opposed to what my mind tells me to eat. My alternative to sweet-treats on my period is a nightly mug of cacao (this is the exact kind I have every night). If you get horrible cramps, try 3 months of cutting sugar around your period.  

• Ditch the tampons. I switched to a period cup back in 2019 and haven’t looked back since. For one, I don’t have to buy tampons or pads anymore, which I love, and for two, I no longer want to be inserting chemical-treated garbage (literal recycled garbage) into my coochie, sorry. If being more eco-friendly is a motivator for you, period cups are also less wasteful. (Average woman uses 16,800 tampons in her lifetime). I wrote a whole article on why I advocate for switching to a period cup, for anyone that wants to learn more.

• Listen to your social battery. For the last few months— and I think this has something to do with it being winter too— I’ve not wanted to leave the house at ALL on my period. Plans that sounded fun a week ago now seem over-stimulating and chaotic. Don’t disrespect your body’s wish to remain isolated and cozy during this time.

• Lean into your sensitivity. I think the biggest thing I’ve learned about my period came as a revelation only last month. I’m looking at a journal entry from that week that starts, “Today I am grateful to my period for giving me access to rage and sensitivity. These are things I don’t normally have proximity to, things I normally repress. The innate wisdom of my period forces me to fully feel rage over the pain I’ve experienced, forces me to feel emotional and raw over things that happened long ago, wounds that are still tender.” Rage is a feeling I’m not comfortable with, and definitely do not express. But on my period, I’m closer to rage, and therefore can tap into it when I need to make difficult decisions or set firm boundaries. Without that rage, I don’t think I’d have the same resolve to say what I know needs to be said. That day, I learned that my period is truly an ally, and that I can use the time of rawness to fully access and speak my truth. You may feel more out-of-control of your reactions during your period, but that doesn’t mean the feelings themselves are invalid. Try listening to yourself and what’s underneath it all.

I’ve learned a lot since 2019 (2011 if I go back to my very first period) and have a lot left to learn, but I’m quite happy with where I’m at in my journey

If you’re reading this and have something to add about ‘mindful menstruating’ (literally just came up with that lmaoooo), send me a message!! I’d love to hear more tips and wisdom, and might put together a Pt. 2 featuring it all!

Thinking about all of this has made me wish I’d had a ‘period party’ when I got my first period. I used to think that was silly, but now, I can see the immense value in it. For many girls, their first period is given hardly any attention, and is often something that’s actually totally swept under the rug, which is wild considering how important that day really is to the rest of your life. I mean, it’s your first of around 450 periods, on a hormone cycle that will affect you for the rest of your life.

Can you imagine, as a young girl, having that moment celebrated? Having mothers and aunties and grandmas and older cousins gather around to give you all the little bits of advice, and affirm in you that your period is not gross or shameful and that it does not ‘make you crazy?’

If I ever have a daughter, you can bet there’ll be a period party in my future.